Wet Dreams
Arko complained to a doctor that he wetted his bed every
night.
"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked.
"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee.'
"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed."
Next time Banta came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?"
"Yes, I did."
"Did it help?"
"No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."
"How?"
"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"
"Before it happens, do you see any dreams?" the doctor asked.
"Yes, doctor. Usually I see a dream in which a small demon comes and says, 'Let's pee.'
"OK," the doctor said. "Next time you see the demon, say, No, we've already peed."
Next time Banta came to the doctor, the latter asked, "So, did you do as I said?"
"Yes, I did."
"Did it help?"
"No, doctor. Only, it made the matter worse."
"How?"
"As I said 'We've already peed,' the demon nodded and said, 'Then, let's shit a little.'"
Miracle doctor
A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and
anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr.
Smith, the town grouch.
So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special.
"Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43."
"Jar number 43?" Mr. Smith wonders.
So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it.
He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells.
"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. "That will be $100."
So Mr. Smith goes home very mad.
One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."
Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special.
"Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43."
"Jar number 43?" Mr. Smith wonders.
So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it.
He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells.
"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. "That will be $100."
So Mr. Smith goes home very mad.
One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."
Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
Powerful lexative
This guy goes to the doctor after being constipated for two
weeks.
The doctor prescribes a heavy-duty laxative and tells him to take two when he gets home. The guy goes home to his fourth story apartment, pops two of the pills and lays down for a nap.
When he awakens he finds that the laxative is so powerful that he has relieved two weeks worth of blockage all over the bed as he slept. Totally disgusted the man toils over what to do with the mess and finally decides to bundle up the sheets and pitch them out the window.
About this time a wino comes walking along still hung-over from the night before and splat! The sheet lands Right Square on his head. After struggling for a few minutes the wino gets free of the sheet and as he's standing there looking at it, a policeman strolls up after seeing him wrestling with it.
"What's going on here?" inquires the officer.
"I'm not too sure," replies the wino "but I'm pretty sure I just beat the shit out of a ghost!"
The doctor prescribes a heavy-duty laxative and tells him to take two when he gets home. The guy goes home to his fourth story apartment, pops two of the pills and lays down for a nap.
When he awakens he finds that the laxative is so powerful that he has relieved two weeks worth of blockage all over the bed as he slept. Totally disgusted the man toils over what to do with the mess and finally decides to bundle up the sheets and pitch them out the window.
About this time a wino comes walking along still hung-over from the night before and splat! The sheet lands Right Square on his head. After struggling for a few minutes the wino gets free of the sheet and as he's standing there looking at it, a policeman strolls up after seeing him wrestling with it.
"What's going on here?" inquires the officer.
"I'm not too sure," replies the wino "but I'm pretty sure I just beat the shit out of a ghost!"
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete